


Horizons

by Rainah (RainahFiclets)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/F, Road Trip, brief depiction of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-07-29 05:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7672462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainahFiclets/pseuds/Rainah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desperate to find herself, fleeing a life she doesn’t know if she wants, Angelica ends up roadtripping across the US.  On the way she meets Maria, a small-town mechanic who also has her eyes on the horizon.</p><p>Just two girls in a car, on a roadtrip to see a pacific ocean and dance under the fireworks.</p><p>*temporary hiatus*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. gunmetal drive

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Hamilton wlw challenge](http://hamiltonwlw.tumblr.com/)! This kinda came to me all at once and I look forward to working on it alongside my other WIPs. There is also a moodboard you can find [here](http://thellamaduo.tumblr.com/post/148384834332/she-could-jump-in-the-car-whenever-she-wanted-and) because I'm a piece of trash when it comes to these two.

“Alright, let me see it let me see it!” was the first thing Eliza crowed as she and Peggy barreled into Angelica’s apartment.

“Angelica, you dog!” Peggy added, looking even more excited than her sister. “Show us!”

Angelica looked from one to the other, trying not to laugh. “It’s just a rock. A rock, on a ring. You can get them at the pawn shop if you really want.”

“Not like this you can’t.” Peggy grabbed her left hand, splaying it out and displaying the rather large diamond there. “Look at that baby.”

“Beautiful,” Eliza agreed, looking absently back to the wedding band on her own finger as if to compare. Alexander had bought her a beautiful ring two years ago, one that made Angelica burn with envy every time she looked at it.

This ring aroused no such feelings. A square cut diamond in a lovely setting of little diamonds, a band of gold that seemed to grip her finger tightly. It was beautiful, she supposed. It certainly was expensive.

John had proposed last night.

He’d taken her out to their favorite restaurant, and partway through a course of french seafood pasta he’d pulled out a ring. _Marry me, please. There is nothing I lack in this world aside from a beautiful, intelligent woman at my side. Make me the happiest man in the world tonight._

There had been a champagne toast and dessert all around. John had beamed, ecstatic at the thought that she would soon be Mrs John Church.

“Ange?” Eliza poked her. “You looked nauseous for a minute there. You okay?”

“Yeah.” She flashed a winning smile. “Just thinking about how much I have to plan. You two will be my bridesmaids?”

“Of course!” they both shouted, and fell into wedding planning without any more prompting. Angelica left them to it, wandering into the kitchen and occasionally calling out her preferences for colours or flowers and laughing while Peggy gave an impassioned defense of mauve as a wedding colour.

“It looks dead, Peggy!”

“No it doesn’t! It’s soft and romantic. Especially for a winter wedding - Angelica, do you know when the wedding is yet?”

“Not yet.” She frowned. “Probably at least a year. Or more.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay then. Lots of time to plan.” Peggy’s eyes fell on the clock. “Is that the time?! I have a shift at dad’s non-profit in fifteen, crap. I’ll see you later then. You still haven’t told me anything about the proposal itself, I bet it was the best thing in the world.”

“I’m sure it was very romantic, Peggy,” Eliza said generously. 

“The. Best. Have fun!” And with a whirl of her shirt Peggy rushed out the door. Angelica was left alone with Eliza and her knowing eyes.

“I’m sure you have places to be, Alexander….” Angelica spoke first, but Eliza cut her off.

“Alexander can wait. I wanted to check on you first.” Eliza, sweet Eliza, took her hand and led her over to the couch. “You’ve talked before about not being sure about John. I just wanted to make sure this is really what you want.”

Say something. Say something so she doesn’t worry. “It wasn’t unexpected,” Angelica said. “We’ve been dating for a while.” Years, all the way through undergrad, and through their master’s. John had just been hired for his first professional job, but most of the men at the firm were already married. It was important to fit in. 

“I know.” Eliza’s thumb brushed over the back of her hand in soothing circles. “But is this what you want, Angie? Really, really what you want?”

She nodded, slowly and seriously enough for Eliza to take note. “I couldn’t ask for better.” John was smart, and accomplished, and treated her very well. He took her to the nicest places, brought her Snickers when she wasn’t feeling well, and always opened the door for her. A perfect gentleman. “You know how great he is, how much he loves me.”

“But do you love him?”

_Sort of._ Probably? There hadn’t really been men other than John in her life, aside from a brief spell with Alexander that she did her best _not_ to think about. And anyway, that had just been passion. Not love. If she didn’t have passion with John, at least she had commitment and dedication. “I do! I really do.”

“Good. Then I’m happy for you.” She kissed Angelica on the cheek. “But I do actually have to go, I promised Alex I would help him and Laurens repaint the deck. They’ll be head to toe in paint by now.”

“Seriously, Eliza, is he your husband or your child?”

Her smile was fond. “When they’re throwing paint at one another? Who knows. You have a wonderful night, Angie. Celebrate it. You deserve it.”

She tried. A night in with a bath bomb helped, as did going out to lunch with Peggy the next day. She let her sisters spread the news for her, a temporary shield against cooing questions and congratulations. But she couldn’t avoid it forever, as the wedding train began to unload all over her life. John hired a wedding planner, to start. Then the house started filling up with congratulatory cards and fruit baskets. Then came the parties.

Two weeks after John had popped the question, she found herself at the engagement party. “Just for a few hours, Angelica, mom will flip a table if you don’t attend your own party!” Peggy pulled on her sleeve.

“I have a headache,” Angelica whined, trying to retreat back into the house. Her sister was having none of it.

“Don't’ make me get Eliza. Come on, everyone’s here. You can’t disappoint your family.”

Angelica allowed herself to be dragged out into the sunny garden, filled with partygoers, and followed her sister over to Eliza. She’d rather avoid talking to these people if she could help it. “I hate you.” Peggy pouted at that, so Angelica kissed her on the nose. “Where’s mom and dad?”

“Over there, talking to the mayor.” Eliza handed her a glass of champagne as she joined them.

Peggy shuddered. “He’s _awful_ , I don’t even know why they invited him.”

“Because dad wants him to back their new initiative. And besides, he got Angelica a Breville espresso maker.”

“Damn.” She knew how much those cost.

Peggy folded her arms. “He’s still a douche.”

“Angelica!” Someone grabbed her arm, whirling her around before she could protest.

“Kitty!”

“I cannot believe you didn’t tell us immediately, you absolute traitor!” Kitty beamed, swatting her on the arm with utmost affection. Behind her, Dolley was smiling smugly. “Engaged! Finally!”

“Catching up to your little sister.” Dolley patted her hijab, securing it, and then offered Angelica a hug. “Really never thought she’d walk down the aisle before you, but at least you beat Peggy.”

“And catching up to your friends!” Kitty waved her ring-encrusted finger in the air. For Kitty had married last year, and Dolley after undergrad. Lovely weddings, both of them, though she wasn’t overly fond of Kitty’s husband.

“Well, I’m there now.” Angelica cut them off with a short laugh. “And I’m sure you’ll give me all the tips for surviving it. _Later_ ,” she added, seeing Kitty’s mouth open once again.

This whole event was just giving her a headache.

How hard was it to just have a wedding and get it over with? Why did it have to be such a production? She was ready to scream at the next person who asked her about colour schemes, or asked her to once again retell the story of how John proposed.

_He proposed in a restaurant, possibly just to get a comped bottle of wine, and at this point I’m really wishing he hadn’t_. But that was unfair, John was a good man. She couldn’t ask for better.

“Mrs Angelica Church. It has a nice ring to it,” Dolley mused, and suddenly Angelica was feeling sick again.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to go and see someone,” she said, and disappeared before they could protest.

She found her father over by the sangria. “Papa!”

“Darling.” He kissed her on both cheeks. “Are you enjoying the party?”

“It’s dizzying.”

“ _Dazzling_ ,” he corrected lightly, “And fitting. This will be the wedding of the century, you know.”

“Don’t let my sister hear that. Or Alexander.”

That got a smile. “I won’t, if you don’t tell your fiancé that the position of ‘favourite son-in-law’ is already taken.”

“I won’t.” Her headache felt better already. Trust her father to always know how to help her feel better.

He looked out on the party with only the slightest frown. Eliza was dancing with Alex, Peggy with Laurens. John Church was nowhere to be seen. “How did you all get so big, hm?” he asked. “I still remember driving you girls down to Disney World.”

“The trip where Peggy threw up every five miles?”

He winced. “That would be the one. What on earth possessed us to do that?”

She knew the answer to that one. “I begged. I was scared of flying and I wanted to see the world.”

She loved driving. Though many of her friends had also gotten cars on their sixteenth birthdays, few had worn through their tires as fast as Angelica. She’d drive to work, to see sights in the next town over, to get out of the city and look at the stars.

“I miss doing things like that.” He held out a hand to her. “Honour your father with a dance at your engagement party?”

“Of course.” She let him sweep her into a foxtrot, stopping only when Eliza pulled on her sleeve.

“Angelica, I hate to tell you this but the press is here. Nothing to worry about!” Her laugh, meant to sound careless, was just a little too firm, “But I thought you should know. They want to report on your engagement.”

“Shoot. Where’s John?” She needed him for this, at least.

“Gone.”

“What?” She turned. Eliza’s face was perfectly composed.

“He left two hours ago. I thought you knew.”

Angelica swore. “Alright. That’s okay. Tell the press… that we’re very happy together and we’re enjoying our privacy. They’ll buy that.” Her headache, abated slightly from the brief quiet, was back in full force. “I just need-”

“Angelica, there you are!”

“Abigail, this isn’t really-“ Eliza started to say, but Angelica cut her off.  
“It’s nice to see you, really.”

“You must tell me _all_ about your proposal. John, that rascal, I hope he made it romantic-”

“Miss Schuyler, how do you plan to-”

“Angelica-”

“Mrs Church-”

“I need a moment,” she hissed to Eliza. “Can you take over? Tell them whatever.” Their father was a politician, they were well practiced at this.

“Got it.” Eliza set her shoulders. “How long?”

“Just five minutes.” God, her head was aching. “Actually… I think I’m going to head out. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll shoo them away.”

“Good. Tell John I’ll… call him later. Whatever he needs to hear.” She needed as many miles between her and this party as possible. Immediately. She could grab a weekend bag on the way.

“Wait!” Eliza called after her. “Where are you going?”

Angelica just shrugged, getting into the car and twisting the key. But before she could go, she had to stay _something_ to her beloved sister. “I’ll call when I know, okay? And it’s not as if I’ll miss the wedding. You can Peggy can pick whatever colors and flowers you want.”

And then she drove. She drove and drove and drove, until the streets of New York melted into a highway that stretched up to touch the horizon.

 

_”Angelica, what in God’s name do you think you’re doing?_

“It’s just a trip, John.” Angelica tried to smile at the grainy image of her boyfriend. Fiancé. Her fiancé, who was skyping her and wanting to know what the hell she thought she was doing. “I needed to get out of the city for a bit.”

_“But a road trip? To where?”_

She looked out the window at the lonely highway. The hotel was small, but clean and cheap and right on the road. “I don’t know yet. The pacific maybe.”

_“That will take a month!”_ But his little face was contorted in worry, not rage.

She tried not to sigh too obviously. “Don’t be so dramatic. I’ll be two weeks. Three, if the conditions are bad. I’m an excellent driver.”

“ _You’ll miss the party my mother’s throwing_.” A long pause. “ _I can’t make you stay, can I?_ ” Somehow it didn’t sound like a question.

“No, you can’t.” She brushed hair out of her eyes. “I need to find myself. Before I go back and give it all up and go home, I want to live. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

_"Okay. I love you.”_

“Love you, too,” she responded automatically. As soon as she closed the laptop she began to pace, restless. The moon was bright, and the stars were calling here. What was she doing inside? Angelica shoved her things back into the bag and tossed the keys at the desk clerk on her way out. “Keep the room,” she called, “I’m going to keep going.”

The car was peace, in a way little else in her life was. It was freedom. Planes, trains, buses - they were all about getting somewhere, packing people into seats and transporting them places. Transportation was a penance, a price to pay for going from one place to another.

Cars were about the drive.

She could jump in the car whenever she wanted, and go wherever she wanted. Highways opened up before her fingertips, and her foot on the gas petal felt like an igniting flame.  
Until it all came to a crashing halt, of course.

Two hours into her drive that morning, a clunking noise that sounded low and hollow. Angelica sighed, cut her speed, and turned off at the next exit. It wasn’t hard to find Frankie’s Auto Shop and explain the problem.

“Should be a few hours,” the man - Frankie, she presumed - offered as he looked her up and down. “You can stay if you’d like, there’s coffee in the diner there,” he pointed to a restaurant across the street, “and the food’s not bad.”

“I’ll be fine, I have a book,” Angelica said. Her laptop was in that car. Her phone. All of the worldly possessions she was bringing on this trip. She was not about to leave them at the mercy of Frankie and the mechanics.

She was startled out of her reverie by a sharp voice. “Frankie’s harmless, you don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not worrying. Just catching up on my reading is all,” Angelica said to the woman, trying to sound dignified.

“Reading, right. You do that.” Angelica studied her. She was dressed in coveralls over a red blouse, hair pulled back from her face. Very pretty, if streaked in car grease. “Are you the mechanic?”

The woman crossed her arms. Angelica guessed she was twenty-five, if that. “I certainly am. Mechanic slash waitress slash whatever other jobs are available in this crappy town.”

Angelica snorted. “This isn’t a town. Seriously!” she added, at the look of pure offense on the girl’s face. “Look, you have a mechanic shop and a little strip mall but that doesn’t make you a town.”

“We have a Wal-mart” the woman sniffed. As she popped open the hood her tone got more conversational. “I’ve been to the big city. I don’t like it. Busy and full of people.”

“If you think Cleveland is big, you should try New York.” Angelica laughed.

Two brown eyes stared at her over the roof of the car. “Is that where you’re from? New York City?”

“Yep. Going to see the Pacific before I get married.”

“And your boyfriend lets you go by yourself?” she asked skeptically.

Angelica floundered. “Well, yes. He doesn’t get much say in it, does he? It’s not his life.” Yet.

Her mouth twisted. “You know how men are, though. They think they own you. They always want to get you locked down at home while they have a piece on the side.”

“Well, miss-”

“Maria.” She pronounced it like _Mariah_ , smoky and long.

“Miss Maria, I’d say you need better men in your life.”

“Don’t I know it.” Maria laughed, getting down under the hood of the car. Angelica watched with interest. She’d never really had cause to open up the hood of her car, never bothered with it beyond where it could take her. Now she was fascinated as Maria ran her fingers lightly over the car’s innards. “He’s not so bad. There are worse men.”

“Not exactly a ringing endorsement.”

“Well, he deserves it.” She reached for a wrench, and Angelica handed it to her. “Especially with that girl he was with last weekend. And he has the nerve to accuse me of cheating?”

“Leave him,” Angelica said flatly. “You deserve better. _Anyone_ would deserve better.”

“Well.” Maria’s face popped back into view, twisted into unhappiness. “It’s not that easy. Where else would I go? It is, as you have pointed out, a small town.”

“Still.”

Her hand reached out to catch Maria’s arm. There was a brief moment, when Maria’s wary eyes flashed up to meet hers, and then she was jerking her arm away. “Alright. Your car should be running fine. I’m clocking out for the day, so tell Frankie your spark plug needed to be replaced. I swapped out your filter as well, but don’t let Frankie charge you for it. Tell him it was like that when you came in.”

“Thank you.” Angelica didn’t know the first thing about filters, but she knew a kindness when she saw one. “Can I get you a coffee at least?”

Maria frowned. “I have to get home.”

She’d hesitated, though, and it gave Angelica the courage to say, “I’ll drive you home, you can drink it on the way.” Considering how small the town was, it couldn’t be far.

Maria’s answering smile was sharp, but at least she was smiling. “Alright. My feet are killing me anyway.”

Angelica disappeared into the diner, and returned a minute later with two coffees. Maria held hers up close to her face for a moment before getting in the car. “Where are you going, anyway?”

“Away,” Angelica said simply. “I really don’t have a better answer than that. There’s so much happening, and… big decisions, I guess. Life decisions. And I kept thinking I was making them without really knowing who I was.”

“So you’re out to find yourself.”

“Yeah. You could say that.”

“That sounds nice.” She looked out on the highway across the way. “You know, I’ve never really been out of this area. Here, the next town over, Cleveland, but nothing else.”

“Never?” Angelica was startled. Her childhood had been full of trips - driving down to Disney World, racing across the beaches of the Caribbean, hiking in the Alps. She couldn’t imagine being trapped in one small town.

“Never. Always wanted to, I just-” Maria made a vague hand gesture. “Got stuck.”

Angelica knew how _that_ felt. “Me too.”

“But you unstuck yourself. That’s something. And now you’re off on some great adventure.” She sounded wistful as she pointed. “This one’s mine. Thank you for the ride.”

It was a small house, run-down and shabby. But someone had painted the window frames a cheery blue, and Angelica could see a small garden in the back.

Just as she was getting out of the car a voice yelled, “Maria!”

“Shoot, James,” she said, straightening her blouse. “Yeah?”

“You’re late.” A man with a shaved head and a ridiculous hat stomped into view. “Who the hell is this?”

“I was fixing a car,” Maria said. “She gave me a ride home after.”

“I don’t understand why you have to be fixing cars. Can’t you get more waitressing shifts?”

“I told you,” Maria’s voice was still even, but there was something lurking there now. “They don’t have any more shifts for me to take. I need the mechanic job.” He made a derisive sound. “Can you stop gambling all our money away? _My_ money away?”

“Don’t talk back to me.” And, with a calmness that was almost more frightening than anger, he slapped her across the face. “It’s none of your business what I do.”

“It is if you want me to be your girlfriend!” she shouted after him. He got into the other car in the driveway, engine roaring to life. “It is if you ever want to get out of this town!”

“You’ll never get out of this town, Maria.” James shouted through the window. “Neither of us will, get used to it. You’re stuck!” And he raced out of the driveway and down the street.

Angelica was out of her car in a heartbeat. Maria was shaking, though with pain or anger or fear, Angelica didn’t know. “Damn him,” she said. “Damn him.”

“He’s awful.” Angelica pulled Maria’s hand away to check her face. It would be a mighty bruise, but he hadn’t broken skin. “Has he done this before?”

“Yes.” She met Angelica’s eyes, challenging her to say something. Angelica didn’t. They stood for a moment, Maria taking several deep breaths and then shaking out her hair.

“Thank you for the ride home. It was very well appreciated.”

“Maria,” Angelica couldn’t help asking, “what happens when James gets home?”

“He’ll be drunk.” She shrugged. “He’ll go and spend another $50 on beer, and maybe a few hundred on company if he’s really pissed at me. And he’ll come stumbling home and forget it ever happened in the morning.” But she wouldn’t forget, that Angelica could see that. It would be another cut in their relationship, another wound that hadn’t healed over.

“Come with me,” she said, before she could think about it.

“What?”

“Come with me.” And now her mind was racing, trying to find a way to get the woman in front her some measure of security. “You wanted to get unstuck. You want to leave. I’ll take you wherever you want to go, I’m going everywhere. Why not?”

_Because it’s crazy,_ she expected Maria to say. _Because you’re a stranger. And possibly a serial killer. Because I don’t want to leave my boyfriend, even if he’s awful._

Maria said none of those things. She looked Angelica over once, her brown eyes scorching as she evaluated. “Okay,” she said finally.

“Okay?” Angelica’s eyes widened. Someone she hadn’t expected the girl to agree.

“I said okay, didn’t I?” Her chin jutted up. “Unless you were joking?”

“No, I- I was serious. Come with me. What do you need?” _I have a travelling partner,_ she thought, and somehow the thought was not as stifling as it would have been when she was back in New York.

“Give me twenty minutes,” Maria said, and raced into the house.

She was back in fifteen, a backpack and a large cloth bag of things in her hands.

“You don’t want to bring anything else?” Angelica asked. “The backseat is big, we can fit plenty.”

“I don’t want anything else from that house,” Maria said shortly.

“Alright.” The smile started growing as she put the car in first gear and eased back onto the road. Maria, beside her, was grinning too. As the passed the _Welcome to Castalia!_ sign her companion reached a hand out the window to flip off the sign.

“Where are we going first?” Angelica called, breathless as the pulled onto the highway.

“Away,” Maria said firmly. “Anywhere!”


	2. Tasting Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria and Angelica head out towards adventure, overbooked hotels, roadtrip singalongs, sad backstories, the largest ball of yarn in the world, and a kiss under the fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this fic isn't dead. Updates will continue to be slow though, as I"m balancing four WIPs at once. 
> 
> Also, in case you can't tell from the music on the radio, this fic is set in 2008.

“This is a serial killer forest,” Maria said, less than an hour into their drive.

Angelica didn’t take her eyes off the road. “What do you even mean?”

“Look at it!” The seat jostled, so she presumed Maria was making a gesture. “The big spooky trees with no branches, the lack of sun-”

“It’s cloudy.”

“I’m just saying, I wouldn’t want to be accepting a ride from a strange man on this road.” The seat thumped as she sat back into it.

“You did accept a ride from a stranger on the road.” Angelica frowned.

“Yes,” Maria said patiently, “but you’re a woman. It’s different.”

“Why? I could totally be a killer.”

“Statistically, no,” Maria laughed, but her voice was serious. “The vast majority of serial killers are men. Women kill their husbands.”

“Charming.” She hadn’t known that. It made sense though.

“Usually because they’re being abused, not just because they feel like it.”

“Even more charming.”

“My mom’s doing 25 to life.”

“What?” Angelica nearly swerved off the road in her haste to look at the woman sitting beside her. 

Maria was staring, very determinedly, ahead. “You wanted to know why I got stuck in a small town. Why I never went back to school. Well, that’s why.” She looked over, eyes daring Angelica to judge her for it.

Angelica couldn’t even imagine something like that. It was so utterly beyond her experiences. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Maria’s eyes were quickly filling up with tears. “I can leave, I’m sorry, you didn’t know-”

“No!” The car served again. Angelica cut her speeding down to a more manageable level and focused on Maria. “Going through bad life experiences doesn’t make you a bad person, Maria. I want you to stay, as long as you still want to.”

“I want to stay,” she affirmed. And then, much quieter, “No one’s ever told me that before, you know.”

Angelica didn’t know what to say to that either. She took one hand off the steering wheel, placing it over Maria’s calloused fingers. And then she said, with feeling, “I could totally kill be a serial killer.”

“Could not.”

Angelica laughed. “And why not?”

“Because there’s only one baseball bat in the backseat and I’ll get it before you can.” Maria flexed her arms. _Oh_ , Angelica thought suddenly, stupidly. Maria was a mechanic, of course she had nice arms. Well defined muscle curving under soft skin.

“Well then. I guess I will have to haunt you forever,” she said, trying to recover.

Maria just smiled. “I can live with that.”

They stopped for lunch at a Burger King, where Angelica insisted on paying. She was hyper aware of the two small bags Maria had brought with her, of how very little she had. “I’ll get the hotel, too,” she added as Maria bit into her burger. “I’d be getting a hotel anyway. Might as well have someone else along.”

Maria swallowed, jaw set. “I’m paying half.”

“I’d be getting a hotel room anyway-”

“With one bed. They’re cheaper.”

“A third.”

“Fine.”

“And I’ll buy the food,” Angelica added quickly.

A muscle twitched in Maria’s cheek. “Fine. I’m getting caviar just to spite you.”

Angelica made a point of looking around. “I don’t think that’s a topping they offer at Burger King.”

“What’s your story, anyway?” Maria asked after a few moments of silence. “Not the quick version you gave me before. The real stuff.”

The real stuff. What was real? She told so many versions of the story she wasn’t sure anymore. “My father, Philip Schuyler is the senator for New York, and runs a nonprofit to help underprivileged children. I just finished a master’s in public policy at Columbia. Otherwise I volunteer at the local woman’s shelter and have a passion for classical music. And my boyfriend of six years, John, proposed a few weeks ago.”

Maria was staring at her. “What?” Angelica asked.

“How many times have you rattled off those talking points?”

She flushed. “A few. It’s useful in interviews.” 

“Ok.” Maria jabbed a french fry in her direction. “Now tell me something real. One true thing.”

Angelica hesitated. “I like pineapple on pizza.”

“You do not.”

“I do! It’s good! Especially with bacon, sweet and salty.”

“I changed my mind.” Maria stood. “We can’t be friends. I am going to need you to get back in the car and take me right back to that godawful diner.”

“Maria!” Angelica shrieked, reaching out to pull her back into the chair. Maria went willingly, grinning the whole time. “Now it’s your turn. Tell me something true.”

She thought about it for a moment, winding a bit of hair around her finger. “I used to dream about living on the beach.”

“The beach?” Angelica asked.

“Yeah.” She dropped the hair, going back to picking at her fries. “Open a little hotel or something, a bed and breakfast. And just walk along the water whenever I want. Maybe have a dog.”

“Do you want to get married?” Angelica asked her. She was trying to picture it - Maria in a summer dress, a labrador by her side, picking up driftwood on her way home. The image was hazy - she’d never seen the Pacific Ocean beyond photographs - but it still brought a smile to her face when she pictured it. Maria would be good there.

“Maybe.” Maria shrugged. “If I met the right person. Do you?” And then she flushed. “Sorry, of course-”

“-I don’t know.” Angelica cut her off. “I really don’t. I like John a lot, he’s a great person. I just can’t see myself walking down the aisle, having kids, being a wife. I don’t know what else I’d do with my life, so it’s not like I have a better plan. I just… don’t know.”

“And you think a road trip will help?”

She shrugged. “It won’t hurt. I always loved road trips.”

“This is my first.” Maria’s answering smile was almost shy. “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Well then, Miss Maria.” Angelica offered her an arm as they walked back towards the car. “We have a lot to cover.”

And they did. They bought postcards at every gas station they stopped at, ate in ridiculous themed diners and at roadside MacDonalds’. They lost count of the number of cornfields they drove past. They slept in lumpy beds in small motels, always careful to book a room with _two_ beds.

And it was nice, to have a driving companion. Enough that when Maria made a noise of interest as they passed a set of signs for yet another small town, Angelica slowed down. It was the fourth day of her drive, and her second with Maria.

“What?” Angelica prompted. 

“Oh I just thought- nevermind, it’s not-”

“Out with it.” If she had to pee again, Angelica would rather just get it over with now.

“The sign said they had the biggest ball of yarn in the world.”

“Yeah?” She had little interest in the biggest ball of yarn in the world, personally, but Maria was biting her lip and glancing out the window. Clearly wanting.

“I’ve never seen the biggest ball of yarn in the world,” Maria said, and Angelica pulled into the turn off lane. 

They drove through the town (small, dusty), past all of its memorabilia (Mona Lisa holding a ball of yarn, knitting kits, ‘I saw the world’s largest ball of yarn and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’) and signs proclaiming the fourth wonder of the knitting world was right up ahead. 

Finally, they pulled into a parking lot and follow the footsteps into a large building to view the town’s claim to fame. It was… a ball of yarn. A very large one, definitely. 

She looked over at Maria, who was frowning at the ball in confusion. Angelica longed to smooth out the wrinkle in her forehead, to ask her what she was thinking about as she stared at the supposed wonder in front of them. Was she thinking about life? What caused a person to devote themselves to making such a thing? What brought people like them to see it?

Finally, Maria spoke. “It’s a ball of yarn.”

“It is,” Angelica agreed gravely.

“Somehow I thought it would be more.”

Maria's jaw was set against the disappointment. She turned around, and with little other preamble walked back towards the car.

“Wait!” Angelica called. Somehow, it seemed vital they not leave with that disappointed frown on Maria’s face. “I have to grab something, be right back.”

Five minutes later she jumped into the car, thrusting a bag at Maria and hitting the gas.

“What did you get?” Maria yelled, hurriedly rolling up the window as the car peeled out of the town and towards the highway.

“See for yourself!”

Maria opened the bag, a delighted laugh ripping out of her at the sight of Angelica’s souvenirs. A box of ‘yarn-themed’ chocolates and a painting of the Statue of David holding a ball of yarn over his privates.

“Very classy,” she commented.

“I’m going to hang it in my living room.” Angelica fiddled with the radio until pop music started blasting. “Let me introduce you to roadtrip favourite: the singalong.”

“I thought you liked classical music,” Maria said, nodding her head along to the beat of taylor swift’s latest album. _‘Cause I don’t know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first fearless_.

“I do!” Angelica protested. “I do like classical music! I just like other things too.” Maria was giggling - Angelica poked her in the side. “I contain multitudes!”

“You contain hypocrisy!” Maria shot back. Then she raised her voice to sing along with the music. “ _You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless!_ ”

Angelica joined in, up to the bridge to the final chorus: _Well you stood there with me in the doorway, my hands shake I’m not usually this way, you pull me in and I’m a little more brave,_

She caught Maria’s eye across the seat, singing softly, “ _It’s the first kiss it’s flawless really something_.”

And Maria sang back, eyes soft as she finished the song. “ _It’s fearless._ ”

The notes drifted off into silence, and with it the moment had passed. “Beyoncé time!” Maria said as the next song came on, giving a little bounce of excitement.

And Angelica was left to fix her eyes on the road and remind herself that she had a fiancé and a relationship did not include gorgeous, lively girls picked up in mechanic shops. It just didn’t.

She could be ok with that. She would have to be. The fact of the matter was, driving across the US only took a few days. They would see the Pacific, spend a few days there at most, and then start the drive back. She would leave Maria in Cleveland and drive back to New York, where John was waiting for her to be his bride.

The thought was almost grotesque, the image of her walking down an aisle superimposed over the open road. Angelica shuddered. She turned her attention back to Maria, who was attempting her best impression of the single ladies dance while confined to the car.

They stopped for the night only when it was getting too dark to see. Angelica pulled off the highway, turning into another little town with a single motel and a gas station.

“See, this is a small town,” Maria muttered under her breath as she hauled their bags from the car. “No Wal-Mart.”

Angelica huffed out a laugh. After driving all day all she wanted was a hot shower and a bed to stretch out in. But even that seemed too much to ask.

“I’m sorry, miss,” the clerk behind the counter said as soon as she approached it. “We only have one room left for tonight, and it’s got one bed. It’s a queen though, if you want to share it?”

A bed. With Maria. A bed where all she had to do was turn over to see those dark curls spilling across the pillow, all she had to do was reach out and run her hand down Maria’s skin. It was cold. They might even end up cuddling for warmth.

No. This was bad. This was very, very bad. Angelica glanced over a Maria, schooling her features into a neutral expression. “We can keep driving,” she offered. They could keep going till they hit the next town. She could have some coffee, stay awake.

Maria drew back as if stung. “Are you that horrified at the idea of sharing a bed with me? Your fiancé won’t mind, come on.” She marched up to the counter. “Does it have bedbugs?”

“Ah, no, ma'am.”

“We’ll take it.”

"Right." _She's your driving companion_ , Angelica reminded herself. _There are still over a thousand miles to go, you will not make this awkward._

The room was small and musty. Maria didn't seem to mind, humming as she pulled toiletries out of her bag, but Angelica pulled a face. "How long ago do you think these sheets were washed?"

"Oh you know, your grace, we wash them every day," came Maria's dry comment from the bathroom. "By hand, to preserve the embroidery."

"I'm not kidding, I think I just saw a cockroach."

"Oh hush." Maria stepped out into the room, clad only in a tank top and boyshorts. "It's only for one night."

"I changed my mind, I miss Manhattan."

"Do you really?" Maria asked, sitting on the bed. She didn't sound like she was joking anymore.

And Angelica replied, totally honestly, "No, I don't really. It's so busy, so stressful. There's always someone who wants you to do something for them, _be_ something for them."

"Sounds awful."

"It was," she agreed, taking her turn in the washroom. Washing her face, brushing her teeth and wrapping her hair up for bed.

"Tell me something nice then," Maria said. "Tell me about your fiancé."

"John?" She shrugged, even though Maria was in the room and couldn't see it. "He's a lawyer, he works at one of the most prestigious law firms in the city. We met in undergrad."

"Ok. Anything else?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Maria's voice was patient, "you've told me what he does. Not who he is."

"He's very nice.” She struggled to find something else to say about him. “He’s happy in his life. Satisfied, I guess you could say. It’s nice.”

Maria flicked hair out of her face, sticking out her tongue. “You’re going to have to give me something better than ‘nice’, Angelica.”

“Well!” She sat down with a huff. “That’s what I’ve got. He’s nice. A good man. He treats me well.”

“And you’re going to marry him, just for that?” Maria asked. “Do you love him?”

“Of course!” 

“Really.” Maria fixed her with a look. “Do you really, honestly, love him?”

“I-” Angelica faltered. She licked her lips, and Maria’s eyes followed the motion. “I don’t know. How do you know you love someone?”

“Well.” Maria lay back on the pillows, thoughtful. “You feel alive when you’re around them. They inspire you.”

“Ok…” Strike one there. John was kind, and thoughtful, but if it was intelligent conversation she wanted Angelica would turn to Alexander or Eliza. Especially for the kinds she’d had in the car with Maria, meandering conversations that touched on all their areas of expertise. 

“They make you feel happy,” Maria said next, turning to watch Angelica with steady eyes. “They make you feel safe.” 

Had she ever felt safe with John? Had she ever felt safe in Manhattan, period? Not really. The road was where she felt safe, felt free. Angelica shook her head to Maria’s implicated question.  
“And they make you feel love, I guess.”

“Love?”

“Like-” Maria thought for a moment, her face screwed up. “Fireworks. They make you feel like the ocean.”

“Like the ocean?”

“Nevermind.” Maria turned away. “It’s silly.” 

“No it’s not.” Angelica reached for her. “Hey. It’s not silly. I’ve just never felt like that before.”

With her hand on Maria’s shoulder, Angelica could hear her sigh. “I know that,” she said, “I do.”

Angelica couldn’t help the feeling that they were having two different conversations here. But, after driving all day, she was too tired to do anything but try and steer them back on course. “I guess I don’t love him, then.”

There was no response. Angelica waited a moment, just in case, and then turned off the light.

In the darkness, just as Angelica slid under the covers, Maria said, “Are you still going to marry him?”

And Angelica answered honestly. “I don’t know what else to do.”

They didn’t speak any more that night. Angelica twisted and turned on the bed, hyper aware of the woman beside her. She was careful not to let any part of her body stray onto Maria’s side of the bed.

But she must have slept sometime, because when she woke up it was to sunlight streaming into the room and one of Maria’s hands was in her hair. Angelica froze, not wanting to disturb the moment.

Maria’s hand brushed gently over her hair. “An overall plan of action, eight letters…”

“Strategy,” Angelica said before she could stop herself.

“Oh.” The hand in her hair stilled, then was gently removed. “You’re awake. I’m almost done this, do you know a nine letter word for ‘an example that would become standard practice?’ I’m almost done.”

“No.” Angelica frowned, reaching up and taking the paper. It was indeed filled in with a careful hand. “An example of what?”

“Oh!” Maria snatched it back. “I know. It means in general. The word is ‘precedent’.”

“You’re very good at this,” Angelica observed. _Precedent_ had indeed been the last word in the puzzle - Maria was now using the circled letters to unscrambled a mystery word.

Maria shrugged. “I guess. I like words, and how they fit together. On my breaks at work, there was always a crossword around. I guess I’m not bad at them.”

“Are you serious? I’ve never even finished a puzzle before. What does the mystery word say?”

“Breakfast,” Maria said solemnly.

“It does not!” Angelica reached for the paper. Maria stretched her hand out of reach, enough that Angelica had to sit in her lap to even have a chance at reaching it. “Liar!”

“Oh, you’ll never get to read it now.” Maria tossed the newspaper into the bin. That was the last straw. Having two sisters approximately the same age made Angelica _very_ good at wrestling. She twisted, got her knees under her, and pressed Maria into the mattress with her hands pinned beside her head. 

They stayed like that, for a moment, breathing hard. And then Angelica pulled back as if burned. “Breakfast,” she said quickly. “Breakfast, and we can eat it in the car. We have a lot of driving to do if we want to make it to the coast tonight.”

“Right.” Maria followed her. She didn’t say much during the day’s drive, just staring pensively out the window. Angelica was left to put on some soft jazz music and drive them ever closer to the end of their journey. 

It was past seven when they reached the sign that said Crescent City, population 5000.

“We could stop at a hotel…” Angelica suggested. It would be dark soon, the sun was already brushing the horizon. 

“Keep going,” Maria ordered. “I want to see the ocean.”

So Angelica put her foot on the gas. It appeared suddenly - they rounded a corner, up the top of a hill, and sudden below them the expanse of water stretched as far as the eye can see. 

“Oh.” Maria sounded like her breath had caught in her throat. Angelica parked the car there, right on the beach, and both girls got out to stare at the sea. “I didn’t think it would be this big. I don’t think I believed anything could be this big.”

“We made it.” Angelica darted towards the water, kicking off her sandals and pulling Maria with her. “We made it!” She was laughing, they were both laughing, and then her feet touched the water. “Damn! That’s cold!” She jumped back, pushing her right into Maria and knocking her over.

Maria cursed as she landed in the water. “I hate you!”

“You love me!” Angelica shouted back.

A beat of silence. Both girls stared at one another. 

“The water’s cold, I’m going to sit on the beach,” Angelica said finally. She reached a hand out to Maria, who took it and pulled her self. They sat on the sand, watching the sun set across the water.

It was beautiful. The smell of wind and salt and sun, the sunset turning the sky to gold and fire. None of it was as beautiful as the girl beside her. The setting sun shone off Maria’s silky hair, the wind caressed her skin. Angelica could see the reflection of the ocean in her eyes. 

“Maria-”

She was cut off by a loud _boom_ , ducking instinctively. 

“It’s just a firework,” Maria reassured her, smiling. “They’re setting them off over that way.” There were indeed boys setting up another round of fireworks. Angelica could see a bonfire going as well, a party. Someone turned a radio on high enough that a few strains of music drifted past on the wind. 

_And you move like water, yeah yeah yeah… I can drown in you… and I fell so deep once… till you pulled me through, oh_

“Dance with me,” Maria said suddenly.

“What?”

“Dance with me.” She was already on her feet, beckoning. “Come on. One dance, and then you can go back to your fiancé and your city and your life.” She was flushed, under the golden light, like some kind of wild thing. A spirit of the ocean, coming to demand a soul in return for freedom.

Who was Angelica to refuse?

_And we were standing on the hood of the car, singing out loud when the sun came out..._

Another firework went off. Her hands found Maria’s waist, and Maria’s arms wound around her neck. There was something forbidden about it. Magical. The first step into a brave new world. Angelica leaned in close.

“I could be happy like this,” she said, with no one but them to hear it. “Here, at the edge of the world with you, I could be happy.”

Maria said, “Then be happy.”

Angelica kissed Maria. It was a small thing, one kiss in the scheme of their whole lives.

But it was theirs, and it was real.

For the rest of her life Angelica would remember that kiss; how it felt to dance with Maria surrounded by fireworks and the ocean, under the last light of the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs they listen to, in order, are [Fearless by Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HECGF_dRwdk), [Single Ladies by Beyonce](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wsTogFALXg), and [Lifetime by Better Than Ezra](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pwE6_rTEtQ). 
> 
> And, as always, my tumblr is [Here](thellamaduo.tumblr.com)  
> Comments/kudos are loved, writing rarepairs is always more of a struggle

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna talk fic hit me up [here](http://thellamaduo.tumblr.com/)


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